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Ultimately, however, that’s a blessing in disguise. Angela Holmes is ordinary 27-year- old until she begins to have a devastating effect on anyone close, causing serious injury and death. But perhaps that’s too big an If: what is here is so empty that even the ridiculously dragged-out end credits (which run for nine long minutes) cannot pad the movie out to 90 minutes. Opening Day: 23 July 2015 Synopsis: THE VATICAN TAPES follows the ultimate battle between good and evilGod versus Satan. There’s supposed to be something ominous, I suspect, in the idea that the Vatican has been collecting film and video of possessed people since the technology became available, but all this little sidetrack achieves is the utter wasting of Djimon Hounsou ( Furious 7, Seventh Son) as the Vatican official who explains this for our benefit.ĭirector Mark Neveldine seems to get further and further away from the outrageous originality of his first films, Crank and Crank: High Voltage (his most recent film before this one? the absolutely terrible Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance), and the desperation here is sadly palpable even as one solution to its total familiarity is weirdly ignored: the movie ends where it should have begun, if it wanted to tell a new story. Much of the tedious same-old devilry is seen here through lifeless hospital CCTV of Angela being treated for what ails her, which is perhaps intended to add a level of authenticity, but it’s nothing but banal. Watch The Vatican Tapes (2015) - Horror, Thriller Movie: In a highly secured vault deep within the walls of Vatican City, the Catholic Church holds thousands of. A clunky beginning with the cringy birthday sequence (again, low budget) had me about to turn this off, but soon it developed into a complex and inspired depiction of a well known plot line. With Pena as perhaps the most recognizable name, the actors are fairly unknown. And Old Scratch remains the worse supervillain ever, always giving away his presence by having his servants try to kill babies and wilt flowers and scream when holy water gets splashed on them. The Vatican Tapes was surprisingly crafty for this category of content. Is this the tale of Angela (Olivia Dudley, who looks so much like Patricia Arquette here that I thought she must be a daughter or a cousin or something, but apparently not), who on her 25th birthday is suddenly taken over by Satan? Is this the tale of her soldier father, Roger (Dougray Scott: Taken 3, Doctor Who), who is trying to help her? Is this the tale of the priest, Father Lozano (Michael Peña: The Martian, Vacation), whom Dad enlists to help? Is it the tale of another priest, Cardinal Bruun (Peter Andersson: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest), who is sent from the Vatican to help some more? They are all mere pawns, not people, coat hangers on which to drape risible ideas about the “causes” of demonic possession: one seems to suggest that strong antibiotics are to blame another involves the unsavory circumstances of Angela’s birth (her mother was a call girl, the slut). This is a movie so inept that it doesn’t even have a protagonist, so there is no focus for what little story there is.
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The demonic-possession subgenre isn’t exactly one crammed with quality cinematic experiences, but with The Vatican Tapes, it hits a dull, unscary new low. If you’re looking for a good horror movie this Halloween weekend, keep looking.